Are you attracted to your wife reddit

I don't long for younger or hotter women. Yes 100%. No, looks shouldn't be the deciding factor, but if you aren't sexually attracted to your SO at all then it's only half a relationship. If you can't get it back, don't get married. There is nothing to be ashamed of, because being attracted to anyone outside of your monogamous relationship is not inherently immoral. I’m sorry, I’m sure it stings to think about but that’s the fact and you need to move forward with that in mind instead of trying to convince yourself that it’s untrue. She giggled and as far as I know has told no one. So you deleted your post from a month ago but the comments are still there. I thought he was pretty cute, but never got that "butterflies in stomach" feeling like a first crush. Feminine and womanly, but not girly. Also, whoever taught you that looks don't count at all was lying. Spend quality time, surprise each other, gifts, compliments, cook for them. ' 2 But since sexual immorality is occurring, each man should have sexual relations with his own wife, and each woman with her own husband. Yes, he’s extremely attractive to me and we have a good sex life. I’ve tried to make it work when I was younger, but it made sex awkward and the whole relationship feel off. Allusionator. My wife is not attracted to me and its frustrating. My (29M) wife (26F) of the years admitted that she was attracted to a friend and teammate on her sports team. Why don't you do some therapy that is covered by our Let the poor woman go -- she deserves to be with someone who wants her and loves her. Not attracted to my wife anymore and I hate it. Introspectively realise why you persistently are not attracted to her body - where does this stem from and go seek therapy. 4. She’s not attracted to you. Oh yes, no worries! :) You were clear in your post that you were asking about sexual attraction growing in that kind of way. You're not attracted to your wife because she's not attractive, both physically and behaviorally. Yet…. Her body has changed after children and natural aging processes, but I'm still physically/sexually attracted to her. Actually, you can, provided that you support the changes she is interested in making, and get the appropriate advice. Married 20 years, never found my wife more beautiful than I do today. Listen with an open mind for her to reveal any pain points that you might not be aware of, and then discuss those if they merit discussion (i. " Her prodding got me a sleep apnea device and I have never slept better. I am not therapist or psychologist, neither psychiatrist so I don't know how to help you to find a "cure" to your attraction but being attracted to older women usually is caused by problems with mother. If you don’t love someone anymore this is completely fine. Sometimes the love fades after 2 years. It is very very common to lose attraction to someone from major shifts such as weight gain. Change things up a little. If you don't, she can't give her informed consent to continue this relationship. Recently, we both have changed, but I feel less attracted to my wife. This stuff is for YOU, not your wife, btw. Even if I go to hug or kiss her, she pushes me away. Be open and discuss! 0. And honestly as brutal as it is, your concerns over not being attracted to her anymore needs to be brought to her attention. If you aren't feeling sexual attraction I think you should hold off on marriage. That's not fair to either of you. First trimester it was about twice a week for us. I, too, choose this guy's wife! You have to be honest with your wife about your lack of attraction. I initially ( early in our relationship) tried making out but I felt she didn't reciprocate and she has admitted recently The was not ready then.     Go to Advice. I agree with you. Is relieved when you don't want to spend time with her. Work on your relationship and try to get the desire back before taking the plunge. Discuss again with you wife and aim to find a solution, by going to the gym with one another and encouraging one another. There’s stuff you can do together and it gets you time with her as well. 3 years into dating and I still get this. I think your wife is not attracted to your mannerisms and the way you carry yourself. I can't risk telling her because she likely doesn't feel that way about me. Get a bike and start riding. Now her hair is short like mine, she picks her nails super short, and she doesn’t dress up anymore. 70 extra calories a day x 365 days = 25500 calories divided by 3500 kcal/lb gained weight = 7,3 lbs per year. You say she is an amazing person, so focus on those amazing qualities and not so much on the weight. Sex is an emotional event. Thus, it is possible to lust after your own spouse, but not all sexual attraction is lust. I happily dated blondes, brunettes, and redheads. tl;dr: My wife is overweight and I'm not interested in sex with her. Is less physically affectionate with younot just sex, but hugging, kissing, hand holding, etc. Reply. Generalising isn't always good, but men are more visual than women are. Still shitty but completely understandable to me. John246810. Example 2. I hope it lasts forever! Married 22 years in May. Just as much as when we were dating. I’m not infatuated with my wife everyday but most days she’s a babe. Getting rejected over and over and Over made me fall out of love and didn't find her physically attractive anymore. •. We have a solid relationship. Sounds like she’s actually being really respectful of you and your marriage. Naturally beautiful, tall, voluptuous figure but still in shape. You can't be TOO attracted to your wife. Edit. Seeing someone attractive and being attracted to them are too very different things. My husband and I have been married for nine years and to be honest, in the beginning I wasn’t physically attracted to his looks but he is patient, kind, driven, shares my same interests and is a wonderful husband and father. Pointing it out repeatedly seems unkind but she IS communicating the problem to you so she may think there are specific things you can do to improve your spark. Ask her to do something kinky. And that you just do not feel comfortable with raising a baby with her at this time because she cannot take care of herself. sehrah. For most women attraction for someone is both physical and psychological. . About me:I am a 3/10. It's definitely toxic and recognizing the pattern makes it easier to stop, but your wife needs to take your pain to heart. For those interested. Throw away account for obvious reasons. Just make sure you talk to your partner. I’ll never forget when I picked her up and she walked out of her air bnb at the time wearing a green plaid shirt. Disagree only slightly, looks aren't everything, but they are absolutely important, you don't need to be 100% physically attracted all the time, because at the end of the day your goal is hopefully to be fully in love with an 83yr old women and all that comes with that, but you need someone who you can be happily satisfied with and makes you Explain how hearing your wife tell you that you stink the moment you darken the doorway every day makes you feel. First, she's not related by blood. TA2022. If the man is not good or nice to us his attraction does way down. It's the actions you take and decisions you make that matter. 3 The husband should fulfill his marital duty to his wife, and All are welcome to participate. She’s my best friend and my everything, my other half EDIT: She was also a HOTTY on our first date. Me and my wife are both christians so "get a divorce" just isn't Wife is attracted to a friend and team mate. A couple things… Yes, your wife is serious. Also, being generous is a proven source of happiness. I told her everyday that she was beautiful, sexy, smart, etc. If you continue, there will be at least 2 very hurt people. That is a big part of attraction for me, one one of the biggest. If anything, it grows. If you take it further, and she finds out, she may consider it emotionally cheating, which will hurt her more. Give it a good amount of time. If you both usually do something neutral, change it up a little. I’m sorry your husband said this to you. While we're at it - climb out of your own ass - I can't imagine any one wanting to have sex with you, your attitude stinks. ALSO- and this is just as important - don't neglect your physical health just because you're in a long term relationship. ago. The more you both connect emotionally, and the more you can discuss and resolve with her your resentment about sex or her use of the phone, the better off you’ll be. If you still love them, even just an inkling, invest in each other. The other half of that coin is if a man is a 10 physically but treats us poorly he turns into a 2. A guy who might be a 2 physically turns into a 9 by the way he treats us. My wife basically told me that she isn’t attracted to me anymore. It'll be better for you and your children if you get out of there. Unless you outright offer to twist my sheets up I assume you’re just playful. We support each other through all of our hardships and celebrate each other through our victories. She felt it because of the hug. It sounds like you just don't love her anymore. r/Advice. Everybody has issues that they run into, and everyone needs advice every now and again. Y’all can go to the gym together, meal prep together, etc. When she hugged me, I instantly became aroused. It was always more about chemical sexual attraction and less about visuals. I’m just not into it, I dislike how short her hair is, and how she Sometimes I’ll notice something and think, “this seems like something people do when they’re attracted to someone” but I’ll convince myself that I’m mistaken or that they’re just being nice. Request healthier foods for yourself and maybe she’ll also get a habit to eat with you as well. Consider that your reaction is incentivizing her to not be honest in the future. 30. Together almost 9 years, married for almost 7; while my personal sex drive fluctuates, he's still one of the hottest men I've ever laid eyes on. Wife not attracted to me. I've never found older women attractive, but I've always found women my age attractive, and that's been consistent as I've gotten older. Like, it's not good but it is a power trip. exercising with you. Physical attraction comes after emotional attraction for me so technically yes. Then the many years of travails that follow, the children leave, and you both search for a reason to continue battling life, and her cancer comes, and you see her strength and beauty and it amazes and scares you. He doesn't owe her attraction when drastic changes happen. It makes your wife feel like you are commited to swear off all other women for her and that strengthens her self esteem and security. The distinction you are looking for is when sexual attraction and desire becomes lust (and is then sinful). Unfortunately, intense aerobic exercise also increases your appetite. Stress that you are not asking her to look like a model, but just be in a healthy BMI range. Attraction is normal, reducing temptation is a good sign. I've been married to mine for 21 years, and I still look at her in the way you have just described What if you were magically attracted to your wife, and you were having sex with her 1-2 times a week? Do you feel 100% great about everything in your marriage then? Or, more likely, what problem would you have to solve at that point? I am trying to focus on her sweet personality, because looks shouldn't matter, but I am no longer attracted to her. Sort-ish, tall, athletic, chubby, hairless and furred. I loved her long hair and nails. What you eat is 80% of your weight and exercise is 20% of it. Lust is when you view your spouse as a tool for your own sexual gratification. Maybe you should take a day off work and schedule an apt to see a doctor. Yes. Halp! Attracted to my niece. 3. Second trimester it was a bit more random sometimes twice a week sometimes nothing for two weeks. Did you marry your "type" that you've always been attracted to, or could you have never guessed the man/woman you're married to today? Both. The issue at the heart of this conversation i believe is sexual withholding on your wife's part. We started dating, and as soon as he started touching me a lot and showing physical affection, I immediately became more attracted to him. Consider whether you would prefer her to evaluate you with a critical eye, or based on your best attributes instead. As part of our commitment to that mission, the AskWomen subreddit is curated to promote respectful and on-topic discussions, and Beautiful lover and Bride, ten years later a Son, two years after that a daughter. r/nonmonogamy, if that’s an option. It will also have the added benefit of giving her more hours in the day to be productive, i. All that said, my wife is objectively above average in cuteness, and I'm very attracted to her and yes, I think that's better for both of us than not being attracted. For several years of our life I was Just because you're attracted to Not Your Wife doesn't mean you aren't also attracted to Your Wife. Stop wanting to be with your wife’s friend. andyb2383. My wife and I have been married for just over four years and together for over 9 and I love her more than I thought possible. It won't feel good, but you owe her your honesty. I’m literally never aware. And the more I get to know him, the more attached I get and we grow closer. Especially since you are thinking of divorce based on a completely normal human reaction. ADMIN MOD. If none of these links help answer your question and you are not within the LGBT+ community, questioning your identity in any way, or asking in support of either a relative or friend, please ask your question over in r/AskLGBT Not Attracted to Wife : r/Advice. If you feel like divorce isn't the right thing to do, then you need to start setting boundaries with your wife. Being attracted to other people doesn’t stop when you get married. Only if she acts on that attraction would this be a problem. I couldn’t imagine ever waking up not snuggled in with her every morning. I shaved my head as most brothers do when performing umrah. She’s doing everything she can to make sure that it doesn’t turn into anything else. (This is not low esteem, I presented my best self in many polls and even got paid-for ratings (yes that is a thing)). We don't cheat because we want a different body to stick it in. • 11 yr. I completely agree as well, this is a choice you can make. Title says it. Start doing stuff with your son so your wife can have some time to feel like a wife again, rather than just a mommy. Dominate or submit to her, and vice versa. Even when I'm not in the mood for sex, I still want to just touch him. Your ability to say no and know what behavior you will and will not deal with when it comes to women is a big part of keeping them attracted. A place for sharing the for-better and for-worse of marriage. She shouldn't lose the weight for anyone but herself and he shouldn't make mean comments, but he doesn't owe her sex. All these things will increase your libido and your self esteem. It may be a insecurity within yourself and you need to do introspection. This is true. If she’s negative again, I would advise to get a therapist involved and go to couple sessions. No woman could ever make false claims and threaten your marriage. Hell yes. Id try r/relationshipadvice for more answers if needed. (Normally we would be around 3/4. Don't let them come up with the own theory cause theirs may be a lot darker. From what you've said, it doesn't sound like you're having an issue with being attracted to your wife anymore. Jklit100. I'm extremely attracted to my boyfriend. I am objectively a 3/10, all my rating converge at that point. Gets irritated with you easily (not willing to put up with your flaws anymore or doesn't find them cute anymore) Doesn't care when you don't pay attention to her. Reply reply. Just because she is married to your cousin doesn't really mean anything, neither Sweet personality, even temper, a loving mother to our kids, intellectually curious, independent when she needs to be, physically active, animal lover, prefers the country over the city. I'm not gonna bash the way to feel, just state that as someone who loves my wife more than anything in the world and couldn't imagine life without her, I will never understand the way you feel. I’m having a hard time finding a reason to go Edit: Just realized you’re the wife. I can find someone benign physically, and then become more attracted to them as I get to know them. I used to have NO problems with sex, my penis would go hard in a matter of seconds, and now it takes a really long time (while it's much less time with masturbation). It's entirely possible that your wife also finds herself attracted to men who are not you and - again - that's fine. Just like how you wouldn't divorce your partner if you dreamt they cheated, you He doesn't have to be attracted to her. Have Boundaries. It can be caused by the lack of love and care from mother. Or six years. We are in our mid 30's, together for 6 years Hope this helps! you are lovely. I can't really say that I am more attracted to my partner, I would say that I am as attracted as I was when we first met. I get that I’m suffering a similar fate to a lot of guys my age but I’m really struggling with it and thoughts of suicide have crept into my head. Thank you for your post, if this is a question please check to see if any of the links below answer your question. She doesn’t even want to be I am still extremely sexually attracted to my current husband after over 8 years together. Or 20 years. , if it's not just her whining about how you smell after work). Her:She was always the girl You can't stop dating your partner just because you're official/married/used to each other. I just started imagining a scenario of being with someone I liked but didn't desire (like trying physical contact to see if feelings would develop afterwards) and realized how much that wouldn't be able to work for me. Bro, you’re being a real, scumbag My wife (52) is hotter than ever, even 28 years later. You need a serious sitdown conversation where you convey your concerns and come up with a definitive resolution. Yes I love my wife body and mind and soul. I'm not attracted to my overweight wife. 2. Or your ex was attracted to you for things other than how you look. Initiating that conversation was brave of you. This seems to help, if you both are up for it. Focus on what you love about her not about her gaining weight and your insecurities around that. We have never had sex. Lift weights. "Hey hun we just went through alot with a change in our family. Not at all. Assalamu alaykum, my wife is not attracted to me since umrah. Maybe she has lipeodema, many women ignored having it and can lose weight without drastically changing their lifestyle and surgery. It’s normal to find other people attractive. We came back a few days ago and she’s not attracted to me. This is Reddit's very own solution-hub. It's her waiting for you to fart in bed again, it's the body that ignored how she felt yesterday. It protects you from your own thoughts. Well, bodies do age, but as long as your relationship is still strong, the attraction doesn't fade. She wanted to be upfront and honest with me about everything and was trying to reassure me that nothing was actually going to happen, but I still came away feeling hurt, suspicious and afraid. In the meantime, my resentment builds because I'm frustrated and how dare you not read my mind until we both blow up at each other. I mean she did push out my spawn out of her happy parts twice. Google how to increase emotional intimacy and connection, try some of those suggestions. I still think about that day often… I love my wife I like this. If you don’t have any or weak boundaries women will treat you worst then dirt. You have to consciously take steps to have gratitude towards each other, you have to take care of yourself so you don't become complacent and unhealthy, and you have to be willing to seek novelty together as well as appreciate the quality time. e. I (M29) have never been physical attracted to my wife (F28) I have been married for 1 year and I have been with my wife for 6 years. Apparently some people reading this thread are not fans of consent. 1. I need some Christian advice. I don’t think this is normal at all. You can't just pick one Bible verse and say "aha!" Here is the full context of your verse: "Now for the matters you wrote about: 'It is good for a man not to have sexual relations with a woman. It also helps with depression and apathy, and saves you some money every month to boot. I'm more attracted to her now (physically and mentally) than I was in the beginning 8 years ago. It's an ego trip. When you are first meeting someone, that's all you have to go by, and sometimes you are convinced that that is all attraction is, just skin deep, and you worry that will disappear when your bodies age. As soon as 1. Example 1. This is normal. If your wife wants to lose weight, Weight Watchers is really pretty easy and you can do everything online. I asked what’s wrong and she told me “I’m not attracted to bald men”. You must have a backbone when it comes to women. I’ve never been more attracted or in love with my wife since she became pregnant and into motherhood. sourcantaloupe. "hey hun you snore alot and seem to struggle sleeping. For context, I’m a 56 year old white guy and my wife is a 47 year old Latina. You can make it like a part of your marriage to plan, but, cook, etc. I personally wouldn’t date someone I wasn’t physically attracted to. I definitely don’t like her all the time but I will still love her through the bs. Sometimes they embrace them and begin to label themselves "bi-curious," "heteroflexible," or "bisexual. She let herself go, stopped shaving anything, started shoving Doritos down her face, started wearing granny panties. Choose your wife everyday and your feelings will fix themselves. She's also 19 to my 39. That's even supported biologically, we are programmed to be more attracted to someone on different parts of their cycle so even over a month the feeling will change. Get outside and go for a run, or a walk. I need to lose about 10 lbs and I just joined Weight Watchers. Also, talk to her about maybe bringing in another person into the mix. Wife hardly shows affection and rejects advances of affection even small kisses she rather do pecks and even then it’s like I’m forcing her which doesn’t feel good you know? I’m VERY confident she’s not cheating: I’m not attracted to her anymore, I’ve tried to communicate my feelings (I understand she’s an adult and is allowed to make her own decisions, but by the same coin I’m allowed to choose what I’m attracted to) it’s thorny. " Sometimes they don't. Especially if you're in a long term relationship where you likely no longer have the opportunity to express yourself as a sexual power outside of this one person. How does your wife feel about it? On one hand, it’s obviously wonderful being attracted to your partner! But on the other hand…I would hate it if every single interaction with my husband had a sexual undertone. Been together 14 years married for 12 and she’s sexier now than when we met. She is the daughter of my sister-in-law's new husband. If she’s still not receptive, you have to decide whether you can stay with someone you don’t find attractive anymore. I found my current husband cute, but didn't get that deep attraction until I knew him better. By rushing into marriage, you did not have enough time to determine long term compatibility. I'm 35, my wife is 31. You have to like the packaging too. I love my wife. It's the body that left socks on the floor. I became single and 2, he and I reconnected, all bets were off. This is a place where you can ask for advice on many subjects. Sit her down after your son has gone to bed, hold her hand and look her in the eye, and say, "I love you. I've done plenty of reading about this on the internet, but it's clear the advice out there isn't very good. AskWomen: A subreddit dedicated to asking women questions about their thoughts, lives, and experiences; providing a place where all women can comfortably and candidly share their responses in a non-judgmental space. ti oy yt et co sk ek wy xo ly