Regret having a baby

Regret having a baby

Yes, life is chaotic as a. Posting on the forum Mumsnet earlier this month, the anonymous mom captured the feeling of many new parents, detailing her growing Apr 15, 2022 · I regret the timing was difficult but I absolutely adore her and she is happiness and love and delight. 2. May 1, 2020 · The life of a new father is falling apart because of his child. You don't need to decide anything now. Sep 2, 2022 · Recognize that perfection in parenting is impossible. Baby 2, also ridiculously easy baby. adults either do not want to have children or wish they had fewer. Keep talking, keep asking for help, this doesn’t make you a bad mom, it’s just hard. Increasingly, however, those of Feb 16, 2024 · 1. Having a highly mobile toddler and a less than mobile (crawling now) baby is like having a bull in a China shop at times. You will get there, but the fourth trimester is real. I don't regret having kids in Portia but I understand if somebody does . But given May 31, 2023 · If people regret not having children, they often regret it because they had a second child, a disappointment. I just had a baby three months ago and I just feel so alone. I do not regret having my second, but I can understand where you're coming from. I don't hate my baby as it was never his decision to be here, and it hasn't gotten so bad that I feel completely detached and resentful - hoping so very muc Mar 19, 2017 · Some of these include Down syndrome or learning difficulties. Just a decade ago, more than 60% of people said they wanted children, but now it’s changed. I also agree with Fennel, love having 3 most of the time but there have been occasional pangs of regret. You have a lot of time. I miss the freedom and the silence and how care free I could be. I will admit that I regretted having children at first and derived no pleasure from it. If I had a supportive partner I'm sure having an infant and then baby wouldn't have been so freaking hard. By Antonio Planas. Rambunctious, loud, happy. ADVERTISEMENT. You can be a grandma at 30, but saying that I have small children makes me seem younger to people. It did actually seem like a reasonably big step in terms of stress etc. Get dh to watch dbaby this weekend between feeds and get out in the Sun, lie in the garden and soak up some vitamin d. My husband and I weren't sir for the first, ended up being the greatest adventure. A new mom birthed a hard truth — she regrets ever having a kid. He wishes that he could return to our peaceful life before the baby was born. It’s hard to keep up with chores, work, each other, and the children when you’re outnumbered. Baby being a baby, LO is purple crying, having nursing strike, not sleeping more than 2 hours. I was careful to maintain fitness (I run & cycle) so I could keep up with him, and generally to maintain energy levels. Gosh, I'm on the fence and have been for a long time. Even if you want to have a kid more than anything in the world it can still be so hard on your life and everything you do. But even if our marriage didn’t work I still would never regret having her. Because I May 9, 2014 · OwlCapone · 09/05/2014 08:18. Ten months. 3. The same for me. 183 replies. When anyone asks me, i tell them - i have so much love and snuggles for a second child, but not the energy or finances or patience for it. Recognize That You're Not Alone. No, I don't regret it. I know I need to stay positive and focus on my blessings, but I'm so exhausted and overwhelmed that all I feel is sad and bitter about deciding to have a baby. Feeling Like You Can Give Attention to All Your Children. And if that’s the "worst" thing that came out of my life, I guess I’m not doing as bad as I thought. At first glance, Amy* is like many busy young moms—she’s 34, lives in Alberta, works full-time and is devoted to her five-year-old. That's exactly what you need to do - step away when it's too much and ask for help. I feel guilty saying this because I love her so much and she’s the best little girl I’ve ever met, but I’m really struggling with the aspect of doing this alone, giving up my Nov 16, 2023 · You’re not alone, though. It’s a chance to fall in love with parenting all over again and relive some of your life’s most magical moments. Yet I am still unable to accept my new life as a parent. Parenting is worth it and wonderful only if you want the child. I’m a mother of two. It's just so, so hard in the beginning (and I had mine at 33!). Therefore, being pregnant in one's 40s can bring with it a worrying array of emotions where panic, concern, and paranoia are at the forefront. I love sleep, I love freedom, Im spontaneous, I want to work, have a serious career, exercise, cook, go out, go on holiday - this Jul 31, 2015 · I'm not depressed, I have no self harm thoughts. Hard to explain to a 2 year old not to bulldoze baby when she has little self-control. I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Thoughts like “you shouldn’t feel this way” or “regretting parenthood makes me a bad person” may enter My biggest regret is because of my partner. He is hard to deal with and we share 50/50 custody now and he likes to make things difficult. It’s a lot of hard work that can absolutely break you. “I just don’t know if we can do it. Mariella Frostrup says they need to be clear on the reasons behind their decision. Some people may feel sad about not having another child (or two), but many of these same people Jul 4, 2021 · A study revealed that one in 12 parents regret having kids; a statistic that I, on the cusp of searching for a donor, don't want to join Sophia Money-Coutts 4 July 2021 • 6:00am Related Topics Jun 29, 2009 · Bookmark. Greasley argues that regret over abortion decisions does not neatly track moral and rational Kids are hard and you guys and still very young. I have so much respect for mothers im baffled with how much its taking a toll on me mentally. When the marriage between Angelou’s parents began to crumble, her mother sent her and her brother to live with their grandmother. Statistically, countless moms plus parents across the world have spilled how they regret having a second child, giving all sorts of reasons, and I can only tell Here, six moms share what PPD really felt like — and how they reached out for help to overcome it. I was always getting tired fast or getting sick. GooseyLoosey · 29/06/2009 08:09. Jul 3, 2014 · 24/7. Since my first was so easy, I figured Baby 2 would be the one that was fussy, didn't sleep, screamed constantly, had constant problems, etc. My husband (32) always wanted kids early, and I (30) was on the fence about having kids to begin with but I knew I would for him. We both feel that we would rather regret not having a second than have a second and regret it. Nov 7, 2023 · Illumeably has one goal: to spread positivity around the world. It was a slow realization, taking years to accept and even more time to consider. Feb 22, 2022 · Do you regret having a second child? After a horror run with IVF, high risk pregnancy and traumatic birth, followed by being first time parents during rolling lockdowns in Melbourne and all the lack of support that came with that…. Sacrifice. This life is just not for me, I didn't expect it to be this hard. Now that you are in touch with your feelings, avoid judging yourself for them. I'm so sorry you're having such a struggle with your decision and situation. My baby is 23 days old and I regret him, it’s not a new feeling, while I was pregnant I was already unsure but it was too late anyway. I scheduled abortions twice because I didn't know if I could handle 3 on my own. I also had 2 under 2 for almost a year so I’m sure that played a part. Apr 3, 2018 · But in a 2016 German survey by YouGov, 8% of 1,200 participants said they regretted becoming parents. 184 replies. 4 months it gets a little easier, then 6 months it (for most) improves a lot ime. That you already have a 10 & 8 year old & are going back to baby stuff is crazy to me and I can't blame you for feeling this way!!! I'll be in your same boat (someday -- my two are 19 months & one still cooking) & I can't imagine having that much freedom again with older children then going back to baby years!! Nov 9, 2022 · Nov. Posting on the forum Mumsnet earlier this month, the anonymous mom captured the feeling of many new parents, detailing her growing Jun 1, 2017 · 01/06/2017 20:36. Boy, because we already have a girl. It will depend on the age gap between your children, but If you choose not to have the baby, you can set yourself up for a different version of a wonderful life and have kids in the future. I miss my stretch-mark-free skin and small breasts. You’re outnumbered as soon as you add a third child to your family dynamic. with four kids, and we are all crammed into a house with lots of stuff and a big dog Sometimes I regret having a baby More often than not, I think about how I regret having a baby. That is bloody hard. Lola Stark is a writer who Jan 15, 2021 · Really regret having a baby. DD is nearly 9 months old and I wish I had an abortion in my pregnancy. , and nothing is geared towards families with 3 - pckage holidays for example are completely out of the question. Let’s look at three of the most common reasons to consider a third baby. It has over 28,000 Sep 12, 2022 · At 3 months an actual sleep schedule with regular naps emerges, the colicky phase ends, baby is interacting more and is more than just a crying lump of need. My husband and I tried for 8 years, going through every single kind of fertility treatment, spending thousands and thousands of dollars. May 17, 2022 · In the meantime, I have an adorable kid who I love dearly. However, the positives have outweighed the negatives. Your career trajectory May 3, 2022 · Mothers Explain Why They Regret Having Kids In 30 Honest Posts. She also says she's incredibly bored being at home with a child, and that it's overall a much more negative experience than a positive one. Just give yoghurt, cheese etc. In 2015 an Israeli sociologist Orna Donath published a study with women who all said they Jan 26, 2020 · We would like to show you a description here but the site won’t allow us. In other words, those with no apparent regret or reluctance outnumber Jul 5, 2013 · But its down to the individual. Kids Will Have More Than One Sibling. Sep 16, 2019 · Moreover, they say, it falls within the bounds of social acceptability because the regret has waned and is no longer relevant. Don't have kids until you feel ready, that could be 1-20+ years or never. It is the perennial question. Newusername3kidss · 11/04/2022 05:51. Having three kids means your children will have more than one Nope, my second one is literally my best friend. I very much regret having them. I know I am being unreasonable as children are a blessing and he was very much wanted but honestly if I could go back I wouldn’t have had a third. This can lead you to feel guilty about not giving attention to all of your kids equally, especially if you’re giving more attention to a newborn. Lol. A 2021 Pew poll found that 44% of non-parents between the ages of 18-49 reported that it is "not too likely" or "not at all likely" that they will have children someday—up 7% from 37% in the same survey in 2018. “I worry we’ll never have time for just us. I wish I knew. Fuck off and go be a real journalist. My older is also a girl and my second is a boy. Baby 1 one was a ridiculously easy baby. I think the main issue is the loss of free time she can spend on her art, gaming, traveling etc. If you don’t want this pregnancy, get an abortion. My wife and I met at work. But I regret that I had children. I am so unhappy. 103. A third (34%) have children and are happy with the number they have and another third—the largest group—wish they had more (37%), whether currently parents or not. This shifts the balance in favor of children, and it’s harder to equitably divide and conquer household Sep 13, 2021 · Acknowledge Your Feelings. Nope. By Anne Kingston. I traded in my freedom warrior card to have this nap-schedule-based life of early mornings, devoid of sex, living exhausted in the vast, lonely desert of parenthood. At the time, she was 29 and I was 23. Vent. Whether you made a conscious decision to remain childless, or it was foisted on you by circumstances outside of your control, it is natural to sometimes regret not having children. Liucija Adomaite and. I'm 59. I have 2 girls. Recognize that “Good enough” is where it’s at. I hate every second of being a mother and having a baby. 1. I have 2 very close together as I knew if I waited and got even some of my life back we would never have another. •. I knew motherhood wasn't easy, but I wanted a baby so badly. People keep telling me I'll regret it, but if I have to spend 9 months being a stay at Dec 29, 2023 · If you haven’t thus far, be honest with your wife about how you’re struggling; she may be managing her own conflicting feelings and you all can support one another. It's normal to not be yourself due to sleep deprivation. I had my one and only child at 45 (in fact very nearly 46). To fear future regret about not having children is to embrace a narrow view of what it means to be human. By Editorial Team January 5, 2024 0 6 Mins Read. They are 8, 6 and 18 months and everything is just hard work because of the Jan 5, 2024 · My Second Baby Is A Girl, And I Regret Having Her. We are trying to decide what to do with our remaining embryos. Thinking of giving my maternity up to go back to work but I have to wait until my 6 week check. These power dynamics are one of the most common reasons parents regret having a third baby. She also pressures me constantly about having a baby because I'm married and my husband is pretty great. I never wanted more than two kids, so I have no regrets about not having a third, or not having any boys. It is completely normal to find some It's a rollercoaster of emotions as one day, I feel extremely depressed, whereas other days, I feel motivated and want to focus on positivities. But I wish I had never had them. My first two are 13 months apart. big family. It's still hard 10mo in but we have accepted this new way of life now. Loss of independence. Nothing about having a baby at any age guarantees their health, but being aged over 40 does increase the risk. Takes attention away from other children. I didn’t want to be a young mom and I always made that clear. 5 replies. I miss working and feeling that sense of freedom after leaving and driving home. If you have questions or need more information on becoming pregnant using a donor egg, please contact us here or call us directly at 424-385-0100. After the birth of your baby, it’s normal to feel a lot of different emotions. People who do not have children do not just live with a void in their lives. Yes, you'll love him more and more. My husband and I have taken control of our own marriage and are dedicated to counseling so that’s something too. It’s a yikes from me. I'm sure there's deeper science/psychology to it, but just saying, I don't feel like most men share this feeling. Have name changed as people know me on here. My ds is 14, and I don't regret him for a second. I love my baby and I don’t regret having him. This is not to say most men regret having kids, I'm sure it's exactly the opposite, but I just don't think men share this "need" to have kids. Boy, because a family Pandit had predicted he will Mar 15, 2023 · One serious attempt to deal with the subject of abortion regret in terms of moral philosophy is Kate Greasley’s ground-breaking 2012 paper in the Journal of Medical Ethics, to which I recently responded in Theoretical Medicine and Bioethics. Controversial. Most women fall in love with their children, despite their life situation. I know I sound like a total weak coward from the title but I don't know how else to express myself with my struggles. Kids change everything and babies are so hard. It wasn't having the second child that caused this, it was your marriage breaking down. Kiddo has tons of playdates, goes to daycare and we recently got a puppy to join the family. I’ve met a few people that regret having kids but they’re also the people that will gush online about how much they love their kids and parenting is the hardest job but it’s worth it. I miss my old life. They are both toddlers now and honestly it was worth all of the newborn/first year struggles. She invited me over the Saturday before Valentine's Day, admitted she liked me, and we started dating. I was once in your place and was leaning towards no before my accident happened. I honestly d. So: "I regret that I was in the position where I needed an abortion. Yes, it was easier with one and would have been a piece of cake to have only one for the last 15 years. I can’t even understand why I ever wanted this or what made me think it would be a good idea. Aug 2, 2023 · Regret having a baby. It almost seems like a lot of women seem to feel "complete" when they have a baby. ”. Jul 28, 2023 · A new mom birthed a hard truth — she regrets ever having a kid. It allegedly affects between 10-20% of new parents, yet the perceived stigma deters many from sharing their feelings or stories. It’s been ten months since my daughter arrived. Reevaluate what it means to be a good parent. Oct 25, 2023 · Mum says she regrets having a baby because she misses watching Netflix and alone time She said the 'constant sense of responsibility' and 'constantly having to entertain a baby' was very overwhelming. The first years of life, children need A LOT of attention. Yes, it's more the case that I regret the situation at the moment and am kind of "grieving" the loss of my previous life, independence and lack of responsibilities. But every time someone asks me about the second one, I just answer with a vague "god willing" or "we'll see what happens". With EBF, it's mentally draining and extremely challenging as after a feed, I put her down for her nap Jun 10, 2021 · As shown in the figure below, 29% of U. Lonewolf20 · 02/08/2023 17:31. And then when I conceived the second time, just within a year of having my first, he was more than happy. ️. I’m so heartbroken. Happy and sure, it’s going to be a boy this time. Examine Your Regrets. Two boys. Explore Your Options. Clock is ticking, and I equally want and don't want kids. She’s absolutely worth it. My life was better without the baby, I regret having her, I hate being at home with her when I could be at work. I've already have more money than I need so I just have a chest with milk bottles and every morning I just gove them bottles, pet, talk and kiss and that's it, not much more than pets, I give them presents too ( I have a pig, cat and dog, Gust is my husband 😁) May 15, 2022 · People can experience the emotion regret and still feel like they made the right decision about having an abortion. They can I never regretted having kids. I miss my old body. Jun 1, 2014 · A couple has decided not to have kids, but friends and relatives claim they will regret it. You don’t have to look too hard to find such people. You shouldn’t be drunk too. I hope you aren’t being hard on yourself and are giving yourself some grace. The first 6 months weren't easy, I won't lie. This is absolutely not to say they regret having children. I had been working at the company since October 2009 and she was hired in January 2011. 9, 2022, 5:22 AM PST. I don’t regret it but I do have days where I get jealous of the time when I only had one baby to handle. I’m gonna get hate for this but I can’t say it out loud so I’m posting here. In the past, maybe people who didn’t have any more children felt guilty about that, but now we’ve all grown up and know that’s silly. I deeply regret having my baby. It can be scary, and nerve wrecking, but at the same time it's very worth out. Embrace Your Situation. Even if they are asleep, someone has to be around “if anything happens”. Take, for example, the group on Facebook called “I Regret Having Children”, where people post anonymous stories. Notthebestday · 15/01/2021 07:01. Remember that no parent It makes me regret not having more kids, at least another baby or two. My mother had me at 22 and regrets having children so young. You are now a single parent. My baby doesn’t sleep, won’t be put down, but perversely won’t even be cuddled, and I’m completely and utterly done in and have tried absolutely everything. “I love my son with all my heart,” she Last night after a particularly rough middle-of-the-night wake-up by my toddler, my husband confessed to me that he deeply regrets having our child. I regret ever having a baby. I regret having my baby. The conflicted mum says she loves her 10-month-old baby more than anything in the world, and constantly worries about something bad happening to her. The MR would love to have a second baby. Also, if it helps, remember everything is temporary. Stop breastfeeding or stop at a year. I was distraught and wondered how I'd survive. Prior to having them, I really wanted to find a husband and start a family. Degges-White said one of the most frequent reasons parents regret having kids is the “loss of freedom and loss of control over your own life. Apr 11, 2023 · theDudesmummy · 11/04/2023 07:43. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns. More and more often do we hear about childfree people who opt for life without kids for various different reasons. Jul 21, 2021 · The results obtained show that the percentage of parents who regret parenthood is higher in Poland than in the US or Germany, and that parents who regret having children are characterized by a higher level of adverse childhood experiences, have poorer psychological and somatic health, are more vulnerable to social evaluation, and experience Jan 10, 2023 · Having three children is challenging (I am the middle child of three), and there are 5 reasons why you might regret having a third baby. I miss not worrying about what I put into my body. Aug 5, 2022 · Considering a third pregnancy doesn’t have to be all doom and gloom. the difference in workload between 3 and 4 is a lot less than between 0 and 1, or 1 and 2. Jul 20, 2023 · A new mum says she regrets having her baby daughter, and is wondering if she’ll ever get over the loss of her ‘old life’. Actually pregnant with my second. The benefit is (hopefully) financial stability. My husband really wanted a baby and I thought it was the right Dec 18, 2013 · Behind all that "Oh my gosh, cute baby" perfection is the 45-year-old me, wondering how the hell I arrived here, and why I fought so hard to have this life. I regret having my baby (6months old) everyday. Young single FTM here (23). I miss being thin. She has been a wonderful mother and never regretted having me so much as not having had the opportunities to make my life better. Nervous about taking on the big role of Mom. Q&A. Baby regret. Oct 26, 2023 · Baby name regret — also known as baby name remorse — is a common source of shame among new parents. There is no support at all due to covid and I’m utterly miserable and so is my poor May 5, 2022 · Mom & Me & Mom by Maya Angelou. Your baby will be eating solids and be absolutely fine without any milk to drink at all. I love traveling, seeing friends and my freedom / independence. Finally, having a second child can bring new dynamics and Sep 25, 2019 · Will I ever enjoy motherhood. May 31, 2022 · Having raised my ex-husband’s four children before raising my only child in a second marriage, I say with conviction, there is no right or wrong choice. I Regret Having a Baby I Never Wanted. We go around and around in circles for the umpteenth time. Sep 21, 2021 · This is one of the consequences of having my first child at 45, and my second at 49. In this memoir, the acclaimed poet and civil rights activist writes of one of the most troubled relationships from her past: the one she had with her mother. I don't regret my second (or third) as they felt right and my family felt completely after three where it hadn't before. If you are lucky you get a spot in kindergarten, otherwise someone has to watch them 24/7. Being a parent is also just hard sometimes, but my biggest regret is the partner. Gabija Palšytė. Commence the “you’re a horrible, selfish person” narrative. One of my close friends also regrets having her baby. I love my kids and have no ne regrets even after having my first young, but it's been very challenging, but I knew I wanted that baby. Children quickly learn to take advantage of the situation, and chaos will ensue. Jennifer Aniston said in a new interview she has "zero regrets" after going through in vitro fertilization, all while coping with intense media I naturally and accidentally got pregnant with triplets in my mid 20's. I regret having a baby. One parent described this type of regret as “the loss of Jan 22, 2022 · Having a baby is such a huge life change! It’s completely normal to have mixed feelings, confused feelings, FOMO and even regret like you’ve explained. Old. 59. My cousin has 4 kids 2 from previous marriage and they cope better than I probably will when my first is born next month . We are discussing—yet again—whether to have a third child. I think it is perfectly normal to regret such a huge life change. I deeply regret having a baby…. ADMIN MOD. You’re Outnumbered. I remember all the nights crying myself to sleep wondering if I’ll ever become a mom. Sep 24, 2007 · geekgirl · 24/09/2007 11:42. The ONLY time to have a child is if the news of a pregnancy is a welcome one - or at least, a tolerable surprise. From the outside, he is a loving father. I wouldn’t even text people so they wouldn’t feel like they had to go out I regret having a baby. You are by no means failing your baby as a mother when you ask for help. Excited at the arrival of this little person you’ve been carrying around inside for the last nine months. Her lease expired in July 2011. By sharing our videos, you are joining us on a mission to truly make the world a better place Jan 4, 2023 · Having a second child allows you to experience those precious moments again – the tiny fingers and toes, the first smiles and coos, the milestones and achievements. He knows it’s not possible and he’s very heartbroken by that. When I look back, I feel sad about my abortion, but I also know that the child I have now - a nearly 13-year-old who is wickedly sarcastic, artistic, insightful, and empathetic - would not exist. Apr 11, 2022 · Regret having 3rd child. If you have a dilemma Jun 14, 2019 · Confession: I Regret Having Children. No weekend off, no sick time, nothing. My sister is a single mom and we are close and I have seen how difficult it is, she is 100% dedicated. We have extensive experience in using donor eggs for IVF and would be delighted to speak with you. With the correct and decisive planning and lifestyle changes, you’ll be able to pull it off. They are both still young. Contact Us. S. Lately, celebrities have been opening up about their own experiences with baby name regret. There’s no dramatic accidental-unwanted-surprise pregnancy story here, I willingly chose to start trying with my partner Salty-popcorn-1218. Having another child means that your attention will divide three ways instead of 2. And while the societal pressure to have babies is still going strong, women have been more vocal about But this was one decision where the possibility of regret left a pit in my stomach. I was on the fence about children before trying to get pregnant, believing in the old "you'll love it once you have your own", but I don't. In fact, almost every non-parent has Jun 17, 2017 · This really is the hardest bit- just focus on holding on - get as much or as little company as you need. bobozzo. “She is a lovely, bright, happy, sweet, and quite independent Reminder to Krista Torres: You do not have permission to use, reproduce, modify or link to any content in this subreddit in any way, shape or form. . If I had to guess, having kids at 40+ comes with a major benefit and drawback: The benefit being that your kids keep you active and fulfilled as you're beginning to age; the drawback being that you'll be having to raise a child as your body is changing. 3nippledman. During my pregnancy I wouldn’t go out with anyone so I wouldn’t have to burden anyone with my problems. Mar 14, 2020 · 7. Also the same people you see screaming at their kids in the grocery store. However, what matters most is how we handle regrets, how we deal with situations in the face of regrets, and, most importantly, how we strive to avoid occasions that lead to regrets. In general I like having kids in this type of games. Raising a child can be challenging, but we never thought we could love at this intensity, even though we love each other VERY much, but loving a child is different. Honestly I found the leap from 3 to 4 children the hardest. de re bq sl ep wl pt ta pa fi